My Favorite Mars Bars Campaign AICN Talkbacks

Okay, enjoy this one… I’ve assembled a batch of the funniest AICN talkback insults I could find on the stories about our campaign. AICN is pretty much my favorite site to visit– mostly because of these amazing talkbacks. On there, you will find the meanest, funniest digs you could ever ask for.

I would implore everyone to have a thick skin and get a good chuckle out of this. Its common practice on the site to savage EVERYTHING, and show no mercy– its where angry film geeks go to vent. This is a chance for all of us to laugh at ourselves a little, nothing more. PLEASE don’t take it personally, or view it as any kind of indictment of what we’re doing, or anything like that. Oh, and I really don’t recommend going over there and trying to defend us… I’ve been going to the site for years, and believe me, it’ll only make it worse 🙂

That said, a lot of these are pretty damn funny. Most of the insults seem directed at the fact that we could’ve saved Darfur with this money or something. Most folk giving to this effort have probably donated less than $5, and it probably took less than 5 minutes. I’m pretty sure, in the rest of our collective time, some of us have done some good things for other causes. And there’s nothing wrong with caring about a piece of art enough to financially support it. Our letter will include a recommendation on what to do with all this chocolate, to make sure some good comes out of it, no matter what happens with the show.

Now, onto the funny…

I remember when we tried to save “ALF” from going off the air and we sent in a pallet of kittens. All we got in response was a form letter stating that all of our baby cats had been euthanized. We cried for seconds and then watched something else!!!!

I’m going to save Twin Peaks, and here’s how…
I’ll send ABC the bodies of dead women wrapped in plastic. Maybe that’ll finally get them to change their minds, damn it.

I sent poor kids candy
and all they got was this lousy diabetes!

somewhere in the swiss alps is a massive particle accelerator that is capable of detecting infintesimal sub-atomic particles. it may also one day be able to detect how little i care about the possibility that some studio exec will make fun of me for sending her a candy bar to save my favourite show.

I sent FOX my house to save House…
Now I’m homeless but I still get to watch my favourite TV show through the shop window with the sound down so it’s not so bad. I don’t like what Hugh Laurie’s done to the rose garden though and those curtains are disgusting. Perhaps I’ll find some Mars Bars in the CW’s trash can so I won’t go hungry tonight…

Dawn Ostroff should commission a show called DIAMONDS.

To save viewers of The Simple Life…
…I got Paris Hilton locked up in prison. You’re welcome.
-Sledge Hammer

Not sure if this was mentioned before but I figure the resurgance of support for this show can be accomplished by buying tons of tarot cards and shipping it to HBO’s office, either that or we go around deconstructing every ferris wheel in the United States and then hire someone to reconstruct them outside HBO’s office, while letting the people from homeless shelters ride them while eating mars bars and peanuts and the HBO execs sit around predicting the future of their network with the thousands of decks of tarot cards and not having any fun at all while the ferris wheels turn and turn. It is freaking brilliant.

…I have collected over 80,000 fireflies to send to FOX, but they all died because I forgot to poke holes in the lid….

So which one of you dumbasses managed to get Paris Hilton out of jail early?

Isn’t Rob Thomas the lead singer of Matchbox Twenty???

What’s happening in Darfur? Is that a show like Dallas?
Just kidding. We all know nothing happens in Darfur. I mean, the place is boooooooring. The whole town shuts down by 9 PM. And just try finding a decent cup of coffee. Paris Hilton would hate it.

can’t wait to see, what they send, if Weeds gets canceled some day. 🙂

There. $20 is a small price to pay to help pummel a rich TV executive with an embarassment of chocolate. Take this 18 wheeler full of saccharine treats as an indictment on your vacuous, disposable existence!!! … What, this is to save that Veronica Mars show? Huh, well that’s a plus too, I guess.


One Response to My Favorite Mars Bars Campaign AICN Talkbacks

  1. […] My Favorite Mars Bars Campaign AICN Talkbacks [image] Okay, enjoy this one… I’ve assembled a batch of the funniest AICN talkback insults I could find on […] […]

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